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Cheating -How to Tell If He Is Cheating Related Links Relationship Articles Index Should I Marry Him? December 21, 2008 By Amanda Hillyard, Columnist and Relationship Editor How do you tell if that guy you like is hiding another woman? How do you know if your man is cheating? Here are 10 great clues we took from a survey of our members at chootoo.com: 1. Allergic to Change. Be suspicious of inflexibility. Guys who cheat need two things --certainty and schedules. They divide one part of the week for you. The other part is for her. If he's unavailable or inflexible when you want to do something out of the norm, something is up. For example, if you spring an idea on him to go away together somewhere for the weekend, and he has trouble freeing himself. Or if you change up the patterns and he is really bothered by changes, then he's hiding someone. Guys who cheat hate spur-of-the-moment, spontaneous change of plans. Why? Because when you cheat, you need order. You need one woman in Box A and another woman in Box B. You can't have people getting out of their assigned boxes or chaos will ensue and they will be on to you. 2. Unanswered phone calls or texts. If he doesn't answer text messages or pick up the phone when he is with you, or if he makes it a point to always turn his cell phone, he's hiding some one. 3. Don't Call Me Here or Then. Another sign that he's cheating is if you are not allowed to contact him at on certain times. If he says anything about, "don't call me there" or says "I don't have good reception when I am such-and-such a place", it's not the reception, he's hiding some one. 4 Money. If he never has enough money to take you anywhere, he could be trying to finance 2 relationships. 5. Let's Meet At Your Place. If he only wants to meet at your place, that's a sign of cheating. Guys who cheat don't want one girl leaving tell-tale signs for another girl to see. 6. Holidays. Can he spend an entire holiday with you? If he can't, or doesn't even invite you, then something is up. 7. Family and Friends. Guys who cheat have to keep women in different boxes. If you never get invited to main events with family or friends it means he's reserving those events for some one else. He can't count on all of his family and friends keeping their mouths shut. 8. New Moves. Men sometimes learn new ways to kiss you, hold you, etc from other women. If he's suddenly springing a new move on you, it could he had a new teacher. 9. Job Is Off Limits. If he has made it clear that his job is off-limits to you, no calls, maybe he doesn't even tell you where he works, he could just be a private kind of guy. But guys who cheat don't want to open up other dimensions of their lives to you. When you find yourself in isolation all the time-- just you and him --something is wrong. 10. No Heads Up On Vacations. Guys who cheat like to keep their cards close to the vest. They don't like to give you any advance info on their vacations. Why? Because then you will make plans. And guys who have some one else want to keep all their options open. If you find yourself saying, "I didn't know you were on vacation", then he is hiding some one. Now you have the 10 tips to tell you if he is cheating. But here is the most important tip of all--it doesn't matter. This is a trap a lot of girls and women fall into--competing for men. The minute you start competing for men, you lose. Why? Because by competing you acknowledge to yourself that he is the prize. The truth is, you are the prize. And your self-esteem is the biggest prize of all. It is your self-esteem that he is stealing. He is stealing not only your self-esteem but also the self esteem of the woman you are "competing against". Ladies, be careful of the contests you choose to enter. You might just win. Now, you're getting started. Find out more real-life tips for real relationship issues: How to Tell If He Is Gay/ Relationships Register -members get special newsletters with articles like this one. |