Cheating -How to Tell If He Is
Relationship Articles Index
Should I Marry Him?
December 21, 2008, Last Updated April 30, 2011
By Amanda Hillyard, Columnist and Relationship Editor
The question of why guys cheat is as old as the human
race itself. Men cheat because it feels good. It makes
them feel like they have more, more love, more power. It
makes them feel wanted. It also makes them feel safe
since they have more than one woman so if one of them
leaves him, he'll always have another spare. It's an
insurance policy against loneliness.
What percentage of men cheat on their wives or
girlfriends. Surveys and studies have produced differing
results. A 2007 survey of 70,000 adults by
MSNBC/ivillage found that 22% of all adults in a
committed relationship admitted to cheating at least once.
In a 1994 study, sociologist Edward Lauman found that 10
to 11% of spouses admitted to cheating in the year prior
to the study. Throughout their lives, 24% of men --and
18% of women--admitted that they had cheated at least
How do you tell if that guy you like is hiding another
woman? How do you know if your man is cheating? Here
are 10 great clues we took from a survey of our members
1. Allergic to Change. Be suspicious of inflexibility. Guys
who cheat need two things --certainty and schedules.
They divide one part of the week for you. The other part
is for her. If he's unavailable or inflexible when you want
to do something out of the norm, something is up. For
example, if you spring an idea on him to go away together
somewhere for the weekend, and he has trouble freeing
himself. Or if you change up the patterns and he is really
bothered by changes, then he's hiding someone. Guys who
cheat hate spur-of-the-moment, spontaneous change of
plans. Why? Because when you cheat, you need order.
You need one woman in Box A and another woman in Box
B. You can't have people getting out of their assigned
boxes or chaos will ensue and they will be on to you.
2. Unanswered phone calls or texts. If he doesn't answer
text messages or pick up the phone when he is with you,
or if he makes it a point to always turn his cell phone, he's
hiding some one.
3. Don't Call Me Here or Then. Another sign that he's
cheating is if you are not allowed to contact him at on
certain times. If he says anything about, "don't call me
there" or says "I don't have good reception when I am
such-and-such a place", it's not the reception, he's hiding
4 Money. If he never has enough money to take you
anywhere, he could be trying to finance 2 relationships.
5. Let's Meet At Your Place. If he only wants to meet at
your place, that's a sign of cheating. Guys who cheat
don't want one girl leaving tell-tale signs for another girl
6. Holidays Are Off Limits. Can he spend an entire
holiday with you? If he can't, or doesn't even invite you,
then something is up.
7. Family and Friends. Guys who cheat have to keep
women in different boxes. If you never get invited to main
events with family or friends it means he's reserving
those events for some one else. He can't count on all of
his family and friends keeping their mouths shut.
8. New Moves. Men sometimes learn new ways to kiss
you, hold you, etc from other women. If he's suddenly
springing a new move on you, it could be he had a new
9. Job Is Off Limits. If he has made it clear that his job is
off-limits to you, no calls, maybe he doesn't even tell you
where he works, he could just be a private kind of guy.
But guys who cheat don't want to open up other
dimensions of their lives to you. When you find yourself in
isolation all the time-- just you and him --something is
10. No Heads Up On Vacations. Guys who cheat like to
keep their cards close to the vest. They don't like to give
you any advance info on their vacations. Why? Because
then you will make plans. And guys who have some one
else want to keep all their options open. If you find
yourself saying, "I didn't know you were on vacation",
then he is hiding some one.
Now you have the 10 tips to tell you if he is cheating. But
here is the most important tip of all--it doesn't matter.
This is a trap a lot of girls and women fall into--competing
for men. The minute you start competing for men, you
lose. Why? Because by competing you acknowledge to
yourself that he is the prize. The truth is, you are the
prize. And your self-esteem is the biggest prize of all. It is
your self-esteem that he is stealing. He is stealing not
only your self-esteem but also the self esteem of the
woman you are "competing against".
Ladies, be careful of the contests you choose to enter.
You might just win.
Now, you're getting started. Find out more real-life tips
for real relationship issues: How to Tell If He Is Gay/
Relationships Center/ Foods That Boost Your Mood
How to Feel Better-10 Tips to Lift Your Mood
How to Stop Bullying
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