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Bullying --How to Deal With a Bully
Related Links
Self-Confidence-How to Build It
Something So Right

July 29, 2009
By J. Murphy, Contributing Columnist

How do you stop a bully from teasing you?  Almost every
child in every country on the planet at some point has to
confront a bully.  According to a 2007 study by
researchers at the
University of Bergen in Norway,
anyone can become a victim of bullying, and their work
found "there is no such thing as a general victim
personality profile".  

Bullying can take several forms, from simple teasing, to
mean taunting, to outright terrorism on a daily basis.

According to experts, bullying hurts the bully more than
anyone else.  Bullies fail to learn necessary social skills.
As a result, according to a
report on bullying in
Psychology Today, "most bullies have a downwardly
spiraling course through life, their behavior interfering
with learning, friendships, work, intimate relationships,
income, and mental health."

The victims of bullying --that would be you--can fall into
almost every type of personality. Let's go into the head
of your child as he or she confronts a bully, in order to
give her the tools she needs to confront a bully on her
own.

Here are the best strategies for stopping a bully:

1. Don't Hide.  Bullies smell fear.  If you're hiding from
them, they know this and they will in fact seek you out.
There you are at  your old desk, listening intently to the
teacher, begging that as soon as you get out, you can run
home where it is safe. Pleading that you will be blessed
with one day of luck. As you pick up your books and head
to the door, your heart is racing , anticipating that
moment when the bully will pick on the tiniest flaw that
you possess and hold it up to the glaring light of shame as  
the ugliest thing in the world.

But , rather than shirk, there is a more effective way to
deal with the fear. Article continues below.

















There are so many things you can say to the other person.
So many things you have to understand. The most
important thing is to not feel anger. Think of the game
hot potato. When this bully teases you, he/she is giving
you their pain, that is the hot potato. Your job is to pass it
back. Give them back their hot potato.

2. Don't take it personally.  Bullying is really not about
you. Bullies pick on other people because, inside, they
feel small. They deal with the terror that they are too
unimportant in the world by trying to shrink other people
down to the size they feel they are.

When a bully teases you, feel sympathy.  This bully has
such a sad life that they have to make other people feel
horrible about themselves for them to feel even a little
better.

3.  Confront. My technique to get rid of a bully, is to turn
around, look them sternly in the eye and say, “waste your
time with someone else,” then you have hit the bully in
the face with their hot potato. If they keep bothering you,
repeat what I have said (it works)!

4.  Dig Deep Into The Why. To become the master at
Bully Stopping all you have to do is answer the question
Why? Why is this bully acting this way, Why does this
bully tease me, Why does this bully keep bothering me?

And then you will know exactly what to do with this bully
Good Luck! And if you recognize that you are a bully,
replace all the times I have said 'bully' with your name! I
hope you realize your mistake and turn it all around.

I hope girls all over can connect to my advice and learn
something, as well as getting a bully to quit teasing them.
Good Luck.

Now, you're getting started. Find out more real-life tips
for real relationship issues:  
Self-Confidence / Something
So Right / Anxiety-Daily Habits That Ease Anxiety

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