
Bullying --How to Deal With a Bully Related Links Self-Confidence-How to Build It Something So Right July 29, 2009 By J. Murphy, Contributing Columnist How do you stop a bully from teasing you? Almost every child in every country on the planet at some point has to confront a bully. According to a 2007 study by researchers at the University of Bergen in Norway, anyone can become a victim of bullying, and their work found "there is no such thing as a general victim personality profile". Bullying can take several forms, from simple teasing, to mean taunting, to outright terrorism on a daily basis. According to experts, bullying hurts the bully more than anyone else. Bullies fail to learn necessary social skills. As a result, according to a report on bullying in Psychology Today, "most bullies have a downwardly spiraling course through life, their behavior interfering with learning, friendships, work, intimate relationships, income, and mental health." The victims of bullying --that would be you--can fall into almost every type of personality. Let's go into the head of your child as he or she confronts a bully, in order to give her the tools she needs to confront a bully on her own. Here are the best strategies for stopping a bully: 1. Don't Hide. Bullies smell fear. If you're hiding from them, they know this and they will in fact seek you out. There you are at your old desk, listening intently to the teacher, begging that as soon as you get out, you can run home where it is safe. Pleading that you will be blessed with one day of luck. As you pick up your books and head to the door, your heart is racing , anticipating that moment when the bully will pick on the tiniest flaw that you possess and hold it up to the glaring light of shame as the ugliest thing in the world. But , rather than shirk, there is a more effective way to deal with the fear. Article continues below. There are so many things you can say to the other person. So many things you have to understand. The most important thing is to not feel anger. Think of the game hot potato. When this bully teases you, he/she is giving you their pain, that is the hot potato. Your job is to pass it back. Give them back their hot potato. 2. Don't take it personally. Bullying is really not about you. Bullies pick on other people because, inside, they feel small. They deal with the terror that they are too unimportant in the world by trying to shrink other people down to the size they feel they are. When a bully teases you, feel sympathy. This bully has such a sad life that they have to make other people feel horrible about themselves for them to feel even a little better. 3. Confront. My technique to get rid of a bully, is to turn around, look them sternly in the eye and say, “waste your time with someone else,” then you have hit the bully in the face with their hot potato. If they keep bothering you, repeat what I have said (it works)! 4. Dig Deep Into The Why. To become the master at Bully Stopping all you have to do is answer the question Why? Why is this bully acting this way, Why does this bully tease me, Why does this bully keep bothering me? And then you will know exactly what to do with this bully Good Luck! And if you recognize that you are a bully, replace all the times I have said 'bully' with your name! I hope you realize your mistake and turn it all around. I hope girls all over can connect to my advice and learn something, as well as getting a bully to quit teasing them. Good Luck. Now, you're getting started. Find out more real-life tips for real relationship issues: Self-Confidence / Something So Right / Anxiety-Daily Habits That Ease Anxiety Now that you have discovered chootoo, spread the word. Chootoo is a website built by girls for girls. |